About Jack

Ok, please be patient with me. This is the first time I've ever done a blog and honestly I don't much about it. I've felt the need to share my story with everyone because my eyes have been opened to so much throughout my time with Jack. If this blog helps just one person, other than myself, then its well worth the effort. Jack was my fourth baby, my third within three years. He was born with Down Syndrome. We knew I had a higher percentage because of a screening the doctor did when I was almost 5 months along. Although the chances were higher, everything looked normal on the level two ultrasounds we did. We were reassured and the pregnancy went fine. He was born almost four weeks early and our biggest concern was the fact that he was premature. The DS possibility was in the back of my mind, but he looked perfect, even if he did seem a bit floppy! While we were in the hospital the doctor told my husband he wanted to go ahead and have him tested for down syndrome, due to the fact that my screening was abnormal and he had slight features of a downs baby. When my husband first told me this I was outraged! My baby was perfect and healthy and beautiful, how dare he! In the back of my mind though I knew. I knew when I held him he felt different. I noticed some of his features were different. When I say different I don't want you to get this grotesque picture in your head. I mean he was beautiful in a way I can't describe. The way he looked at me was as if he had known me forever. I was head over heels for this baby immediately! My mind couldn't grasp that this angel could have anything "wrong" with him. We went home with a cloud looming over us. Instead of going home happy and ready to celebrate, we went home to hide. It was as if everyone who saw him during our first days home were trying to determine for there selves if he had "the features." I think everyone had their own opinions. I didn't want to hear any of them. I had decided as long as he's healthy nothing else matters. The day the phone call came I learned the difference between possibility and reality. The test results were back and he had trisomy 21. I let out a guttural cry as soon as I Hung up the phone. Not my baby, not us. In the days that followed we cried and researched everything available on the internet about trisomy 21 or Down Syndrome. We knew our lives would never be the same. Jack meanwhile was the perfect baby. He never cried and slept more than was normal. When I first noticed how much he slept I was convinced he was an angel. My other babies were always demanding. Now sometimes I wish he would have been more demanding! We entered the world of special needs full force! We found out he had down syndrome when he was a week old. We brought him to a routine visit with the cardiologist at around two weeks old and found out he had two defects. I was so mad! I prayed that all I wanted was for him to be healthy and now this! He was able to take medication and wait for open heart surgery until he was 18 to 24 months old. Those days were up and down. One day I could accept everything and the next I was overwhelmed by this unknown world. During all those ups and downs I never thought for one minute any of it was a mistake. I knew God had plans for Jack and our family, but I wanted a peek into the future. I was scared of what might be coming our way next. I know God works in mysterious ways and what we have planned for our lives is not always what God has planned. Praying for God to guide us and his will be done was all I could pray. I had to learn to take it one day at a time, one hurdle at a time. In this world of special needs I met people and became aware of things I never would have without Jack. He was so special. He loved to be talked to. He would open his mouth and try so hard to talk back to you. His smile was gorgeous! I've never known a more social baby. Whatever he lacked in motor skills and muscle tone, he made up for with his social skills and affection. He always wanted to kiss and skinner all over me! I can still feel that sweet, wet breath on my cheek!